Yeh Dosti Hum Nahi Chodenge or ?
A few weeks back I got an email that made me smile so wide, I almost put Julia Roberts to shame. The email was from P, my best friend from school. P and I became thick pals from the time that she landed in my school around class VII. She had joined my school from this really hip and happening school that didn't have classes beyond class VII. She sat next to me in class and we got along famously. We hung out together and chatted on the phone in the evenings discussing about the cute guy in the class next door. Till the time that she got married (when that happened, I was doing something as unglamorous as studying for my final exams in third year of college) ; we kept in touch.
When her email arrived, I was elated. I opened it and read it through a couple of times just out of pure joy. She had written about her husband, her home, her kid, her sister, and her parents. I replied back immediately asking her about herself and what she was doing. I also wrote at length about myself and my life here, what I had been upto for the last 7 years.
She wrote back to me the next day saying that she was still in the same city that we grew up in and her current home was just 10 mins away from her parents house. She also left her mobile # and wanted me to call her.
I called her the next day and it was great hearing her voice after such a long time. We talked for a few minutes about our everyday lives. I spoke excitedly about my job, my overflowing social calendar, and how I was still very much in love with all the co-curricular activities that I did as a school kid. She told me about her kid that had just started going to school and her husband who was ever busy with his family business. I asked her about her love for music and whether she was still pursuing it. She said she was too busy. I remembered her passion for designing as well and asked her whether she still pursued it, again she said she was too busy. I chided her mockingly and she just laughed it off saying, "I am just happy taking care of the home".
After this day we talked a few more times, but I really didn't have much to talk about. She didn't know much about current topics or what was happening around the world. There were no interactive discussions or opinions being exchanged. It was becoming more like a one way dialogue. Surprisingly, I wasn't feeling the same way I had thought I would feel in talking to such an old friend.
It felt strange because I still have friends that I had from my nursery and kindargarten, I still get along well with them and they have grown with me all through these years! So what happened, in case of P and me? Did we grow apart coz our paths were too different? Why is it that I don't enjoy talking to her anymore? Why does it feel like it is just a formality to keep in touch with some friends and an absolute pleasure in keeping in touch with some?
A thought crossed my mind: What is better-- To part as friends with happy memories or to carry on a friendship just because you used to be best buddies a long time ago and friendships are supposed to be for life, right?
Music: Chanda re, Chanda re from Sapnay
Mood: Too many things going on & not able to cope up but kinda happy
When her email arrived, I was elated. I opened it and read it through a couple of times just out of pure joy. She had written about her husband, her home, her kid, her sister, and her parents. I replied back immediately asking her about herself and what she was doing. I also wrote at length about myself and my life here, what I had been upto for the last 7 years.
She wrote back to me the next day saying that she was still in the same city that we grew up in and her current home was just 10 mins away from her parents house. She also left her mobile # and wanted me to call her.
I called her the next day and it was great hearing her voice after such a long time. We talked for a few minutes about our everyday lives. I spoke excitedly about my job, my overflowing social calendar, and how I was still very much in love with all the co-curricular activities that I did as a school kid. She told me about her kid that had just started going to school and her husband who was ever busy with his family business. I asked her about her love for music and whether she was still pursuing it. She said she was too busy. I remembered her passion for designing as well and asked her whether she still pursued it, again she said she was too busy. I chided her mockingly and she just laughed it off saying, "I am just happy taking care of the home".
After this day we talked a few more times, but I really didn't have much to talk about. She didn't know much about current topics or what was happening around the world. There were no interactive discussions or opinions being exchanged. It was becoming more like a one way dialogue. Surprisingly, I wasn't feeling the same way I had thought I would feel in talking to such an old friend.
It felt strange because I still have friends that I had from my nursery and kindargarten, I still get along well with them and they have grown with me all through these years! So what happened, in case of P and me? Did we grow apart coz our paths were too different? Why is it that I don't enjoy talking to her anymore? Why does it feel like it is just a formality to keep in touch with some friends and an absolute pleasure in keeping in touch with some?
A thought crossed my mind: What is better-- To part as friends with happy memories or to carry on a friendship just because you used to be best buddies a long time ago and friendships are supposed to be for life, right?
Music: Chanda re, Chanda re from Sapnay
Mood: Too many things going on & not able to cope up but kinda happy
posted by Life Lover | 1:27 PM
13 Comments:
You remind me of this poem by Rabindranath Tagore, where a lover meets his beloved of a previous birth in heaven again, and although they talk once more, they are never able to connect the way they did earlier. Perhaps time and life change our priorities and our outlooks, and so we are not able to relive and recreate the magic.
About your question, yes --- we must try to keep friendships alive as long as possible, but not because once we liked each other.
It is difficult to find common ground sometimes when you have grown apart. Only old memories left to ponder over. Sad. But life moves on..
sudipta---> thanks for that wonderful comment...would love if you could share this poem with me, even though it is in bangla, and then please translate it in english for me :p he he :)
sakshi---> yep so true..it hurts but I guess in life we need to move on
its all abt the spark isnt it?
If it is any consolation, it happened to me many times. We all change as we grow and we often grow out of things we like before. But what I noticed is that a person's core of the personality doesn't change much. We can still be genuine friends as long as we don't talk much to each other :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
I love your title... and I think sakshi is right - sad as it is when you find you can no longer relate to an old friend, it's usually best to let it go and just hold on to the sweet memories.
In other news, you've been tagged - details on my Bollyblog (www.ilovelovelovedharmendra.blogspot.com).
kahaan ho tum????
alive????
times change,circumstances change n so do ppl..there r very lucky few who r fortunate enough to carry on childhood friendships through years...think from ur friend's perspective..she is sure missing on something dat she finds in u..being married at an early age is a big loss of independence and failing to see true colors of life..this maybe d reason behind her rather cliche answers.
post man, kab aayega is taraf?
bahut din hue post mile!
i would choose the former after having tried a little
That kind of friendship is the best one to ever have :) I'm so happy for you and your reunion...
Hello, visiting your blog after a long time ... hope life has been fair with you :)
And I quite agree with Sudipta; we must give it a try at least to keep the friendship going ... specially if it has been a precious one. Even if you don't seem to gel like the good old days, there is no reason why you should stop caring for each other. Right?
But if that seems too difficult, a sweet adieu is the best choice.
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