Opinionated Solutions to Life's Problems

Lots of opinions, Lots of options, Lots of hidden answers to Life's convulated questions.

Location: California, United States

LIKES: India, Music, Math, Dance, Advertising, Statistics, Optimism, Dreams, Strong opinions, Rains, Bike rides, Caribbean Sea, Jamaica, Waterfalls, Swimming, Stray dogs, Full moon, Tagore, F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Junglee sandwich, Phone talks, Jasmine flowers, Short work meetings, Fridays & Saturdays, Chocolate ice-cream at mid-night. HATES: Sweet tongued liars & Bitter tongued liars

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

He said, She said

Picture this- An argument between a man and a woman. A sentence here, a fitting retort there. An angrier judgment and an even louder response. The bedroom door banging, the study door banging. SILENCE.

15 minutes later...

Emails being checked in the study room ... work getting accomplished in its normal way

Sobbing and thinking and analyzing in the bedroom ... not even a thought about anything but the fight.

30 minutes later...

Mood's almost back to normal in the study room (That's Mars for you)

Mood's lousy (yah itna lousy jaisa a half-baked cold pizza is--ewwww) Mood's ditto like it was before half an hour (Ofcourse! Venus)

After much ado when Venus comes face to face with Mars, looking like a heartbroken sharmila tagore in Aradhana with that "OMG mein barbaad ho gayi, m pregnant" kinda look, the first thing she says is, "We need to talk"

"Uh huh" says Mars knowing very well that this is the beginning of his end (looking just as clueless and ever horny as rajesh khanna does almost in 99% of the movies)

---irrelevant lines alert--- BTW, I read in some statistical survey on some cheesy website that 99% of men think that make up sex is the best way to get a fight over. Dunno what that one remaining guy was thinking. They didn't poll the women for this question. Maybe because they didn't want to have a hoard of women with baseball bats attacking their office cause this was afterall the most preposterous question in the whole wide world---- bas khatam ab back to our jhagda.

So, the kind of psychology freak that I am, Mein sochne lagi ki, When it comes to resolving conflicts do men and women really approach it differently?

Do women want to resolve conflicts by talking and clearing misconceptions, setting rules and boundaries?

On the other hand do men like to just get it over with during the fight and not dwell over the 'same stuff' again and 'discuss' the issues later?

I think men and women do approach conflicts differently. Men don't really think that an argument here or there can end a relationship. Women on the other hand feel that all issues that arise NEED to be addressed, NEED to be solved and NEED to be discussed. While she would spend an entire afternoon desecting her BF's or husband's reaction during a particular fight; this sorta thing wouldn't find a mention in the guys dialogues with his friends.

So, I have kind of come to the conclusion that the analyzing, thinking, and discussing is not worth the effort. If all you are going to get out of your genuine desire to 'work things out' is a half hearted "Uh Huh", I say let the issues remain, let the men have the peace of mind they desire, let the harsh words disolve into the thin air without any resolutions...until the next fight that is ;)

Music: Jaane kya baat hai from Sunny
Mood: Dreamy


Blogger Aashun said...

Have you seen Teen Deewarein movie? There is a scene where Juhi put an end to a long bitter relationship. I will not give away much for in case you have not seen it. But it was really something not expected from (Indian) venus.
By the way, horny and Rajesh khanna? - lol.

4:55 PM  
Blogger PSV said...

awesome post, all the women of this world should read this particular post of urs and I so wish they draw the same conclusion as you do.
If all the women I know heed your advise, my life will suddenly become so easy!
The best quote -"I say let the issues remain, let the men have the peace of mind they desire, let the harsh words disolve into the thin air without any resolutions...until the next fight that is"
good job Gujraatan!

7:59 PM  
Blogger sreicanth said...

you are quite right when you say that men dont like to dwell upon issues...(most dont)..
i think men like to see the larger picture...they turn a blind eye to finer details...the small things that go into a relationship...

martians are like that...cause they are good at taking decisions based on what they see (but not what they dont/cant)...they're too logical!

while women (most ..i guess) have that experience of dealing with myriad emotions while growing up...plus since women almost always go together in groups....they are exposed to constant human contact and therefore a mot more emotional baggage....so for them.....the small things/gestures have a meaning..

a simple example of how men and women are differently wired....
men look for appearance (first and foremost) in a potential partner...thats just one major criteria...never mind that she might be an empty headed blonde
however women have a lot more things in their mind....for example..."personality"..and thats a huge word!! :)

no wonder men would use sex to solve arguements...when they're hit with prospective separation/discord,their minds scream "get back together"...and thus make-up sex would 'seem' like an effective solution!
women obviously wont buy that!!

12:40 AM  
Blogger Life Lover said...

aashun---> hmmm, will have to watch this movie now, you've created enuf suspense :)

psv---> he he :) thanks man! hope your life becomes really easy, really soon!

sreicanth---> yep, and I believe that these differences make a man-woman relationship electrifying--both in the nice and the not so nice sort of way. if venus and mars start understanding each other completely, what's the fun? ;)

10:07 AM  
Blogger Twisted DNA said...

Hmm.. I think mens approach to disagreements is, if you ignore them long enough they will go away. You know, just like bugs in software. If you ignore them, they will go away. If you try to fix them, you will introduce more bugs ;)

If you continue the argument, you are bound to uncover more issues :D

2:04 PM  
Blogger Strider said...

What a coincidence... I have just started reading 'Men are from Mars....'

9:22 PM  
Blogger Bhuvanesh said...

whoa! this ones cool.. but it applies to a majority of the men & women.. and theres nothin wrong to ask both of them to back off for a little while and resist massaging their egos..
not for nothing are men supposed to be the ones with the raging hormones which can cloud all reasoning..
so no amount of explanation by venus would get to mars and denying sex to mars seems logical on venus' part.. so the seemingly better thing would be to drop the matter till the next fight..!

11:14 PM  
Blogger Life Lover said...

twisted dna---> And I wonder why all my male colleagues are out for beer at 4 PM on a friday while I toil away till 6 PM ;) Good logic about the bugs!!

strider---> I found some parts of the book really fascinating :) enjoy!

bhuvanesh---> agreed :)

10:06 PM  
Blogger Chitrangada said...

i really like your observation but i think rajesh Khanna isn horny :P

well I kinda agree women gen want to resolve issues but i am seriously confused why guy don like to talk abt the bother issues ?

sex cant the solution of everything ..why 99 of men think that way ..afterall they have to deal women ..who actually don think that way :|

5:03 AM  
Blogger Life Lover said...

chitrangada---> he he, something abt RK makes me think he is ;) women and men both think the other is mysterious, some of these elements bother us and some attract us! make up sex is just one of the many things men and women differ on--there are countless more!! :)

9:34 AM  
Blogger The Lonely Traveller said...

Rajesh Khanna...horny!!! LOL....No..No...
ROFL now.... Got back to my feet...but I have to let out another burst of laughter...
Slowly in control of my emotions now!!
Now back to sanity: "Congratulations! You have actually deciphered the meaning of Life"....
Our life itself is build up of "He said! She said!". If it were not for this life would not be even half as FUN..
I love women the way they are: prudent & thoughful .. and with an urge to understand and solve conflicts..
While as for us...We'd be better off the way we are ;-)...or, maybe a hint better ;-)

3:51 AM  
Blogger Shakhi said...

Hey! loved this post mainly because of something that's going on in my life right now! Hee hee.... am trying so hard to end the quarell and he acts as if nothings' wrong... hmmm...guess i need to think some more and let it be.... what do u day?
btw, i came here randomly and started with your latest post and ended up reading all! Too good man, really enjoyed ur style of writing....

9:50 PM  

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